Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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