When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
