the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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