i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize