i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
