you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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