What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
