My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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