how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
