he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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