we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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