3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
