the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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