i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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