I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
