We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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