You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
