I hope mine doesn't look like that
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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