she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
