you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
