My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
organizing the empties. That sober.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
