apparently the secret to your success is patron
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Randomize
