do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
