I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
