lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
