then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
