carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
