You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
