Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
