my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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