A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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