at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
