i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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