Cold hands, warm shart.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
