Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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