So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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