The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
