Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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