To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
