Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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