had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
