do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
