Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize