I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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