Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
