he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
