the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
