just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
