Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
