apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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