am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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