Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
