everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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