guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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