A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
