who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
