Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
