I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
