My brain says no but my pants say off.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
