don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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