brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
