someone get that fucking seahorse.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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