is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
