My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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