You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
