I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We need to get me chipped asap
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize